Day 30 has arrived!!! Anxious, excited, and slightly nervous – this is how I feel at 6:00 pm, an hour before heading off to the “closing ceremonies”, a 2-hour Moksha class led by different teachers, of the Moksha Yoga 30-Day Challenge. It kind of feels like Christmas Eve… unsure of what to expect, but excited at the prospect of what the next morning (or in this case, the next class) will bring. How will I feel once this is over? Regardless, It’s been a long month, full of wonderful ups and downs, that I will cherish along with the memories of yoga classes slotted in there every day to define my inner journey.
Sidenote: Before you start reading, I want to warn you that this is going to be a long one. And I’m not holding back. Because it’s the last day, this is it! Since I can’t please all audiences with this blog, I am going to write for myself. I hope you take the time to read it, but if it doesn’t interest you, that’s cool too.
On this crisp Sunday autumn evening, I was greeted at the door by Steph, with a big hug and a genuine congratulatory smile. There was an air of excitement and accomplishment throughout the studio as students and teachers milled around, getting ready for the final practice of the 30-Day Challenge. When we finally got settled, Darcy started us off with some inspiring words. The Sanskrit word yoga has the literal meaning of “yoke”, from a root yuj meaning to join, to unite, or to attach. Therefore, yoga is literally meant to be a union – presumably of the mind, body, and soul. She went on to explain how the practice of yoga is actually our true nature and humanity’s natural state. The series of poses are structured in a way to build up an internal fire which burns away anything that inhibits the full expression of ourselves. We come across so many distractions, are bombarded by so many messages, stresses, and situations throughout life that the one place we can come to understand who we really are, is the yoga mat. It sounds hokey and cult-ish, I know, and for those of you who haven’t yet began to grasp the power of yoga, I invite you to ponder this quote:
“Before you’ve practiced, the theory is useless. After you’ve practiced, the theory is obvious.”
Just like writing, I never know how yoga is going to go when I first start it, whether it’s just a class or a month straight of practicing. When starting a blog post, I let my unfolding thoughts conjure up the words I type. Sometimes, I end up with a completely different “theme” for a post then what I had envisioned, but I know it’s genuine and from the heart, so I don’t look back. I decide on a title, then go ahead and hit “Publish”. With this 30-Day Challenge, I signed up to it not really knowing, at all, what to expect or the effect it would have on my mind, my body, my life. Generally, when we start a commitment like this (training for a bike race, running a marathon), we have a specific goal in mind. Achieving that goal, we hope, will leave us feeling fulfilled.
The difference is that this was not a goal – in the traditional sense of the word – for me. This was an intention, a commitment to the process instead of the finished product; an intention to follow through with something for 30 days just because I felt it might be possible.
I was interested in seeing how integrating this new element of movement and mind/body balance would affect my life, mostly out of playful curiosity. I already knew I loved yoga, and I wasn’t looking for a weight-loss strategy. What I’ve realized is, the power of committing yourself to being consistent – a single step – can start an entire journey, a ripple effect of positivity into your life. You realize what you can make space for if you really want to. All it takes is the intent; never mind whether you think you can actually do it; that becomes evident along the way.
Now, I elaborate. What changes have I noticed at the end of these 30 wonderful days?
My Body
After two days of no yoga while I was fighting off a cold (and still am), my body was literally begging me for movement. My hips and quads and calves and shoulders and back had gotten so used to daily opening that they began to stiffen as soon as I stopped. I also noticed, as was the case tonight, that I can enter a class feeling sniffly, sick, or exhausted, and leave feeling 100% myself – even though science says that exerting yourself actually has a detrimental effect on illness. But I’m going to trust my body…. 
Finally (the part you’ve all been waiting for… ha), I have noticed a significant change in my body composition. My hips and waist are leaner (judging from the way my jeans fit now), and my legs are much stronger. The line from my hip bones to my inner thigh muscles is strongly defined with a noticeable ridge running lengthwise. My quads feel powerful and stable, enabling me to run up 3 flights of stairs to my 8:00 am Monday marketing class without feeling the slightest burn. In my upper body, I now see smooth muscle definition in my shoulders and back, thanks to all those downward dog flows. On the whole, I feel balanced, strong, and streamlined. I have this deep visceral connection with my body, an awareness of how every part works together beautifully – a feeling I never got by isolating each part of my body through weight training or even cycling.
My Mind
Wow. Where do I begin? I didn’t expect yoga to actually cause a shift in the way I think and feel on a day-to-day basis. Situations that would normally bother me, now just slide right off my back (most of the time). The amount of stress I used to feel has dissipated and bubbled down to nothingness, which is what it was in the first place – stressing over nothing. I find that I am able to take on more in my life because I don’t actually stress about getting things done. The more you do, the more space you create for creativity and inspiration and energy. As an energetic Aries – a fire sign – this is my true nature. Stress stems from worry of a) not having enough time to accomplish the things you have to get done, and b) whether or not you will do/have done your best. I have faith in myself to complete tasks and address situations as they arise, and just going with my gut is absolutely enough for me now. My productivity has increased tenfold as a result. I try not to think about the finished product; instead, I get lost in the process… whether it’s a school project, a work task, a social situation, or a addressing personal problem. Yoga taught me this, because yoga is not about an end goal. If it were, people would not practice yoga for their entire lives the way they do in Eastern parts of the world. They would “conquer” it, and move on. It would not be a lifelong, sustainable practice.
On an emotional level, I think yoga has played a part in giving me the strength to confront some difficult situations in my life. This month has brought some unprecedented emotional turbulence, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I’ve had some amazing experiences, learned a lot about myself and the interconnectedness of the world and relationships, and overall become a more resilient person. I trust in my heart that everything happens for a reason, and that maybe someday down the line it will all make sense. They say hindsight is 20/20, right?
My Community
- Me with Steph and Darcy after the final Challenge class! All smiles
Most of all, I am thankful for the extension of community that Moksha has brought to my life. Yoga challenges or journeys generally start as a “me” endeavour, and end as something so much greater – because yoga does not stop at “you”. It gives us the ability to create freedom within ourselves, which then makes us more available to others. Taking true care of those around you starts with taking care of yourself first. I am sure that my ability to care so much for those close to me stems from feeling fulfilled with everything else. Of course, I have ‘off’ days and selfish days and sad days. But this progression started as something that might benefit me, and ended up bettering my relationships and my drive to support the greater community around me. I feel like I can take on the world! I realized how much Moksha Yoga North York supports their community, their students, with the creation of a space in which you can feel safe, welcome, and honored. They stay true to their belief that the yoga practice does not end on the mat; it only truly begins on it. Always there with words of encouragement or help with a posture or anything at all, the staff at Moksha Yoga is half of what keeps me coming back for more! They inspire just by being themselves and leading by example.
- MYNY love
I noticed, on Day 23 when I practiced at Moksha Yoga London while visiting my good friend Carly for the weekend, that the sense of community and respect seemed to be lacking a little. I brought Carly to class with me, hoping she would enjoy it and find the same sense of community and openness thatresonates with Moksha Yoga North York. Unfortunately, I don’t think either of us found it. Although a yoga studio is a business, what I love about MYNY is that it becomes a community centre as well. I can’t really put my finger on what was lacking at MYL, but I’m just grateful to have had that experience, making me realize that not all Mokshas are the same, and what makes a studio great is the sum of their great people.
My Yoga
Dancers Pose
Needless to say, my practice has improved markedly. I love the way it feels to remember how something used to be a struggle and is now a portal for release and ease, while still providing a challenge. I have learned how to breathe properly, a skill that will increase my cardio endurance in every type of setting. Breathing in and out is what reminds me that I am alive, and that the breath is all I need when I’m struggling. It holds so much power.
I used to take a rest pose every time we moved into camel pose because I’d get short of breath and never thought I’d be able to actually reach for my heels… until I actually tried it, one week into the Challenge. Now I can’t get enough of it, and I’ve learned how to open my heart to the sky (see below)!
My flexibility has at least doubled – I love the way it feels now that I can fold my body in half…
What I’ve learned through this hectic month of running between school, work, yoga, and social commitments, is that excuses are useless. If I could get to a yoga class almost every day for 30 days, despite the fact that I go to school in Etobicoke and live in North York and work somewhere in between, then I think anything is possible. I couldn’t help but be motivated and excited after the first week of realizing I could actually do this; I could actually make time for it and make it a priority. It has turned into a habit, the best kind of habit, where I eagerly anticipate every time that I get to roll out my mat in that hot, humid room, lay on my back, close my eyes, and take a deep breath in to begin my journey of self-exploration.
In closing, I want to be honest and say that the end of this challenge was somewhat anti-climatic. At the final practice tonight I thought I might feel some grandiose sense of accomplishment, some culmination of a great feat. While I was grateful and proud of myself, I didn’t feel particularly accomplished. Then I realized it was because, this is not the end of something. It’s the start of something new. An undocumented, lifelong, all-encompassing love affair with yoga.
I am going to end with my favourite quote of all time, which I saved this until the very last day. It’s a quote that was on the front of my journal during a very tumultuous and uprooting, yet happy and exciting, time in my life, and it re-inspired me everytime I looked at it. It encompasses my deeply-rooted belief and recent realization that it’s not about how much you accomplish or how “far” you get in life. Life is about choosing to pursue those paths that fill you up inside. This must be why so many people rush around constantly doing things and desperately trying to accomplish – it’s possible they haven’t yet found that peace that comes from truly just enjoying something, something that turns on the light within them and sets their hearts on fire. As I always like to believe, it’s quality over quantity.
“In the midst of our lives, we must find the magic that makes our souls soar.”
iris.and.moksha. 